Perhaps the most necessary ingredient in forming a happy relationship is the ability to forgive. If you haven’t discovered yet, then you will one day, that everyone near us will hurt us sooner or later. There are no exceptions to this rule. Humans lack the ability to constantly act responsibly to each other.
Sooner or later your spouse will do something to hurt you. Now, the question becomes what are you going to do in response.
Now, to be clear I’m not talking about abusive actions, particularly those involving violence, which need to be dealt with professionally and perhaps legally. I am speaking of the little ills that lead to the great catastrophes.
What are you going to do? Will you react harshly? Will you get even? Will you say nothing and hope for the best? Will you actively seek to change your heart and find a way to respond kindly?
There is no situation that cannot be made worse through retaliation. There is no grudge that cannot be hardened if we try. By the same token, the hardest of grudges at one point was nothing more than a common annoyance. At what point will you allow your annoyances to grow into grudges?