These days there are a lot of options for finding information regarding intimate relationships. Most of them are crude and full of misconceptions. Allowing oneself to indulge in the wrong kinds of information can bring lasting hardship to a relationship.
Intimate relations, like other aspects of a marriage need to be carried out with a solid measure of respect and admiration. There is no room here for selfishness. The danger of causing lasting emotional damage is far too great for that. Rather approaching intimacy with an attitude of seeking only to please rather than to be pleased will help ensure a level of confidence and respect that will bring lasting returns.
The idea that a person is an object, only to be used selfishly can manifest itself very clearly during intimacy. This often is an extension of an attitude that permeates other areas of the relationship, but which here leaves deep and lasting scars. These frustrations can build into very damaging feelings that can ultimately ruin the relationship.