Where marriage exists, so do money problems. People cannot exist on this planet without some kind of commerce. We all have bills. We all pay bills. We all have desires and we all take steps to meet at least some of those desires. So then there will arise some conflict between the wants and desires of the partners and the needs of the partners regarding finances.
There are a number of ways of handling this conflict. Some tried and true ways include being completely open and honest with your spouse regarding where the money is concerned, and building a budget. This means that yes you will have to let them know if you spent money that wasn’t planned. It also means that you will be accountable for your actions. This is a responsibility that should be welcomed.
Not everyone arrives at a marriage with experience or knowledge for making a budget. A budget does not need to be extremely complex, it merely needs to include where the money is coming from and where it is going. But more important than that, the budget needs to be ratified and fully accepted by all included parties.
If one of you doesn’t agree to what is written on the paper (or saved on the computer) then it is completely worthless. There has been no communication. There has been no progress. This hearkens back to the first requirement which is full and open communication about the money. Where is the division of responsibilities? Where is it going?
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Monday, September 21, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Managing Financial Strain in a Marriage
In these tough economic times financial strain can be very hard on a relationship. This can really come to the fore during special occaisions like mother's day, father's day, and birthdays or anniversaries. Sometimes there just isn't enough money to go around or at least it seems that way.
The biggest rule to remember is that your relationship is more important than the "things" in your life. Or at least it should be. Your spouse is more important (and will certainly be with you longer) than the latest video game, the new summer dress, the latest movie or CD. All too often couples find themselves in financial difficulty simply because they spend more on weddings, dating or having fun than they should and very often these spending habits continue for far longer than they really need to. Learning to do fun things together like taking walks, playing cards or other inexpensive activities can really help reduce strain on the budget as well as remind you that you actually do like spending time with each other.
Another huge problem that often comes up is a lack of transparency about money in the relationship. Do you know where all the money is? Does your spouse? Is one of you taking an unfair burden managing the finances? Is it causing him or her stress that they are not comfortable talking about? Or are they worried that things are as good as you keep telling them? Being completely open and honest about money can be difficult at first but it will create a dimension of honesty and fairness that can't be reached any other way. Very often it will help alleviate other problems as well.
The biggest rule to remember is that your relationship is more important than the "things" in your life. Or at least it should be. Your spouse is more important (and will certainly be with you longer) than the latest video game, the new summer dress, the latest movie or CD. All too often couples find themselves in financial difficulty simply because they spend more on weddings, dating or having fun than they should and very often these spending habits continue for far longer than they really need to. Learning to do fun things together like taking walks, playing cards or other inexpensive activities can really help reduce strain on the budget as well as remind you that you actually do like spending time with each other.
Another huge problem that often comes up is a lack of transparency about money in the relationship. Do you know where all the money is? Does your spouse? Is one of you taking an unfair burden managing the finances? Is it causing him or her stress that they are not comfortable talking about? Or are they worried that things are as good as you keep telling them? Being completely open and honest about money can be difficult at first but it will create a dimension of honesty and fairness that can't be reached any other way. Very often it will help alleviate other problems as well.
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