Sunday, April 12, 2009

Respect in Intimacy

These days there are a lot of options for finding information regarding intimate relationships. Most of them are crude and full of misconceptions. Allowing oneself to indulge in the wrong kinds of information can bring lasting hardship to a relationship.

Intimate relations, like other aspects of a marriage need to be carried out with a solid measure of respect and admiration. There is no room here for selfishness. The danger of causing lasting emotional damage is far too great for that. Rather approaching intimacy with an attitude of seeking only to please rather than to be pleased will help ensure a level of confidence and respect that will bring lasting returns.

The idea that a person is an object, only to be used selfishly can manifest itself very clearly during intimacy. This often is an extension of an attitude that permeates other areas of the relationship, but which here leaves deep and lasting scars. These frustrations can build into very damaging feelings that can ultimately ruin the relationship.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Manage Your Stress

One of the more difficult things that happens to all of us sooner or later is that we will have so much going on in our lives that it begins to overwhelm us.

At these times it becomes particularly easy to take our stresses out on others. This can take the form of harsh words or acts. Snapping, yelling, or lashing out at those we care about. More often though it becomes an excuse for neglecting responsibilities and simply ignoring those we should care about the most.

Video games, television, movies and even books can be a useful outlet, but can also be harmful obsessions. Spending hours upon hours in front of the computer with no useful gain while shirking chores and other responsibilities at home or at work will only lead to increased strife within our relationships. In some cases this need to escape can lead to truly ruinous habits such as drugs, alcohol or gambling.

Learning to manage the stresses that we encounter can lead to more positive results. One of the keys to handling this in a postive way is learning to identify those times in our lives when stresses are increased. It could be specific events at work, school or at home that make us feel like we just need to escape. Identifying these "triggers" will let you know when you should make a change.

Learning to communicate these triggers and your stresses to those around you in ways that do not threaten is also important. If, for example you have had a very bad day then learning to let people know and asking for a short break to deal with it will be better understood than escaping into cyberspace for hours and becoming physically and emotionally unavailable. Be sure not to abuse these little breaks or they can begin to cause resentment as well.